i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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