I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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