NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Randomize
