Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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