I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize