I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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