Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I pour the whiskey from now on
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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