i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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