Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
