Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
