And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
