I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
