i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
