I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
