Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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