The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
