Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize