He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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