If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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