Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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