You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize