well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize