how can u be prego again
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
