in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
