don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
