Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I currently don't understand fingers.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
