so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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