He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Mom said you looked used
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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