She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
