I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize