She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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