Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
