Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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