Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
