dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
