I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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