you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
