The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
