Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
