Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
