chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize