Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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