ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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