Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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