I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I need water and some morals
Randomize
