we have officially lost it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
