Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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