Apparently you make a good broom.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize