Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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