Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
