He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
