used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize