Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
