Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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