i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
