Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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