I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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