My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have aggressive nipples.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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