nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
