FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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