I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
