if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
